I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
