have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
