Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
