After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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