I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
is it fun? or sober?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
