What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
