Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
handjob tips. give me some.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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