D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
