I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize