D3 body, D1 cock
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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