I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize