There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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