girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i've created a new STD.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
