FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
