She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
