the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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