Swine flu. Run for my life!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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