He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
