I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
