So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
