Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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