I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
