Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Are my feet made of real feet?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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