Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
