I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
