Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
