so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
