Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
