What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
