he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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