Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
