another moral hangover. fuck.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
