Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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