There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
