All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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