and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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