We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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