his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
