I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
