Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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