Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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