im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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