i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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