i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize