i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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