Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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