I want to make a zoo with you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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