I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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