I got chris browned last night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
