wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
