No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I cut my penus on the lid.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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