That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Two words: blizzard sex
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
