U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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