I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
