I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!