I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes