Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

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  (386): totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen. http://tfl.nu/yxbj
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i think the cat found all the blow we lost...

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  (269): i think the cat found all the blow we lost... http://tfl.nu/uqm6
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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  (417): I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat. http://tfl.nu/8r9j
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye

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  (815): Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye http://tfl.nu/ds98
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.

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  (910): the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door. http://tfl.nu/3iyk
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom

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  (715): He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/gly6
  Replies (3) Good night (1826) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.

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  (620): The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us. http://tfl.nu/uobg
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.

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  (515): His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him. http://tfl.nu/q8r5
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.

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  (814): Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/kb3m
  Replies (11) Good night (2288) Bad night (559)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?

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  (414): Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table? http://tfl.nu/liu6
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  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves

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  (925): The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves http://tfl.nu/ye71
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.

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  (407): I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so. http://tfl.nu/va18
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (387)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.

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  (610): we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty. http://tfl.nu/7ebu
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!

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  (864): my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year! http://tfl.nu/rim4
  Replies (8) Good night (646) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt

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