I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
