Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
