can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
